Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Emperors of China, Japan, and India
On Thursday, August 23, 2001 at 12:53 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
The above link has no relation to what I am about to rant about. I'm doing some research for a story of mine, and found the link useful. Now, on with the reason why I'm writing during my lunch break at work.
I am well and truly pissed. I uploaded a fanfic to FF.NET sometime yesterday. It was a Digimon fic. I received one review from someone who obviously seemed to enjoy it. Then, I recieved a notice from FF.NET saying that my fanfic had been removed. This notice informed me that this was my first offense, that a certain number of offenses would lead to a termination of my account, and gave a long listing of possible reasons as to why my fanfic was removed.
Given my general state of shock, and the fact that I read all the rules at FF.NET and thought I had obeyed them, I carefully went through this list. Here is the list quoted (in italics) directly from the email sent to me.
It was a nonfic (Author's Notes, Excerpts, Prologues, Rants, Opinions, General Information, Announcement, Challenge, Quiz, Contest etc.) The entry in question must be a complete story. Prologues and excerpts are not allowed.
My story was none of these. I have repeatedly seen abuses to this rule on FF.NET and realize that it is not the place to put them. Except maybe the prologues, but I can respect their wishes and call it Chapter 1. ti told a complete story (or a parody of one).
It was a double post/repost of one of your already existing fanfics or it was the original unrevised version of your fanfic and you have posted the revised version. Crossovers and multiple versions of the same story for any reason are not exempt from this rule.
The only other place this story was posted was my website. There was no revised version. It was not a crossover.
It was a miscellaneous chapter of one of your fanfics which has already been compiled into one post.
It was a stand alone story.
It didn't. These aren't even present in the version posted on my website.
It was a crossposting of one of your fanfics. Please post your fanfic in the appropriate category and *only* in that category.
I had it posted in the Digimon category, and only that category.
The use of another Author's name/nick and person in your fanfic without their permission.
Nope. I used my own nick (Tsaiko), and did not include anything but characters from the series. No real life people here.
It was inappropriately rated. It should have been R or NC-17.
Unless, FF.NET has become the moral police, there is no possible way this fanfic could have deserved an R or NC-17 rating. I gave it a PG ratng, to be on the safe side. It has one indirect reference to sex. If you were super anal, you might stretch reality enough to give it a PG-13 rating.
The summary either had HTML in it or the abuse of !!!!!! or ????? and so on caused the page to scroll off to the side.
I hate abuses of questions marks and exclamation marks, so that wasn't the problem. No HTML code in the summary. Unlike some people, I can actually follow the rules. Which brings us to our final listing...
It was a one or two liner. These are not considered fanfics.
I will admit the fanfic was short. That was the point. But it was neither one nor two lines. It was four. I suppose if someone wanted to, it could be reduced to one or two lines. But I didn't. I expanded it out to make it clear who was speaking and what was happening.
So in a nutshell, The Shortest Digimon Fanfic was removed because it was too short.
Thank you FF.NET for showing me the error of my ways. In the future, I should know better than to write a fanfic that is just too short. Nevermind that it conveys a complete thought, and is a parody. I'll make sure to observe your strict rules and needlessly expand it out into a 30 page monstrosity. After all, brevity just shouldn't be anymore. We should all follow Steven King's example and turn all our good short stuff into tediously long bad stuff.
And while I'm doing that, I'll also be sure to consider whether or not I want my stuff hosted at a place that feels it necessary to act as the fanfic police.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: TheSpark.com
On Tuesday, August 21, 2001 at 08:27 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
The Spark has a new test. The gay test. Interesting, but I'm not sure I believe it. After all, their test said I was a guy with 86% accuracy. Boy, were they off...
I know people have the right to be stupid. But I swear, some people are abusing the privelege. I have nothing against such people. I just don't think they should be allowed to breed.
Having said my fill about stupid people, I had an epiphany the other day. Jowy from Suikoden II looks just like Treize from Gundam Wing. I mean take a look at this doujinshi picture of Jowy (the one in the background of the colored pciture). Now check out these pictures of Treize. I dare you tell me that these two are not related.
Of course, I said much the same of Gourry from Slayers and Nakago from Fushigi Yuugi. They look so similar. How can they not be related? They look just a like. Yes, Nakago is cruel, sadistic, and a little bit messed up. Sure, Gourry is dumb, optimistic, and in general just a great big fluffy puppy. Maybe they're really twins, and Gourry was the one who got dropped on his head as a baby.
Hey, it could happen.
What I don't understand is why people don't use these odd coincidences to generate crossovers. It would be great. Shippo from Inuyasha is Yu Yu Hakusho Kurama's long lost nephew. Gourry is the son Nakago always denied. Trieze left his younger brother Jowy to try and bring peace to the GW universe because he could not create peace in his own world. Vash from Trigun could be the descendant of Chichiri. Kouji from Fushigi Yuugi and Dorothy from Gundam Wing are possessed by the same alien life form that is masquerading as their eyebrows.
Wait, scratch that last one.
I think it could work. I am not going to write it. I already have way too much stuff to work on. Otherwise, the people who read my stuff are going to come after me with scythes and whips. Scary. But next time you're watching a new anime and there's something naggingly familiar about a certain character, make a connection. Write a fanfic. Crossovers are your friend.
Just don't expect me to read it.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I just notice how much Naga from Slayers looks like Karou from Kenshin.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: The Corporation
On Saturday, August 18, 2001 at 08:13 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
This is Tsaiko. This is Tsaiko sitting bored at a computer. This is Tsaiko being a complete dolt and leaving the keys to the apartment in her sister's car which is now sitting at UNCW which is over three hours away.
Why is it that there is nothing to do on the internet? People need to write more fanfiction. Not just any kind of fanfiction. Good fanfiction. Fanfiction that I would not mind sitting down and reading. Fanfiction which does not contain more than five spelling errors per five pages. Fanfiction which is written with a basic understanding of the mechanics of grammer. Fanfiction which is new, different, exciting.
Preferably, fanfiction that does not make characters so completely out of character that they should just be renamed.
I understand why people write fanfiction. The background stuff is taken care of. For example, when I say Kurama I don't have to explain the intricate dealings of a kitsune that has taken over the body of human while it was still in its mother's womb. I don't need to explain about his relationship (or lack there of) to a Koorime demon named Hiei. Heck, I don't even need to describe him if I don't want to. If you've seen the series, you know all this. I can just mention a character and you immediately know exactly who I'm talking about. It's great. It's wonderful.
It is so easy to abuse.
I love how one person put it. "Tonight the role of your favorite character will be played by a complete stranger." That's not an exact quote, but close enough. I understand that most anything I read is going to be a little OOC. I mean, fanfic authors are making the characters do stuff that never happened in the series. But my God, I want to be able to recognize they are.
For instance, I do not want Sano from Keshin to act like a complete goober. He should not be written in such a way that at any moment I expect him to get off his tractor, remove a straw hat, and say "What're ya'll doing here?" Similarly, Keshin should never suddenly become ultra-uke. Whiny, wishy-washy, and looking for someone to dominate him. Excuse me, did you even watch the series?
That's not saying that characters can't change. But please put an explanation. And "He's secretly been hiding his true personality" is not an explanation. It is an excuse. Use your brain. Creativity people. Become one with your imagination.
Maybe I'm being too hard on fanfic writers. Maybe just because I never subject readers to the absolute dregs of my over active mind, I shouldn't expect others to be as considerate. Maybe instead of whining about OOC-ness in fanfics, I should write one characters that are in-character. Do the lead by example thing.
Forget that. I'm getting revenge for the hours I'll never get back from reading bad fanfiction. If you'll excuse me, I have to go write a dominatrix Kasumi story. There's quite a few people who need to be subjected to it.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: What do you call it?
On Tuesday, August 14, 2001 at 10:38 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
In the interest of wasting as much time and bandwidth on the internet as possible, I bring you the URL of the day. What do you call it, soda or pop? Appartenty someone's thesis (real or otherwise) on regional dialects. Interesting if nothing else.
Today's moving story comes from my friend Chris. He's the moderator of NCSU Otaku, which is basically a list to keep a bunch of my friends in contact with each other. Anyone who has rented a moving truck will appreciate it. I'm retelling it here because I'm too tired to think of anything important to write.
So Chris is driving down the highway in a rented Ryder truck at about 1:00 in the morning. He's been driving since Mississippi (I think). He's helped his new girlfriend Katy move to NC. So their heading to the apartment when a deer runs out in front of the truck. They swerve left. the deer swerves left. BAM! They hit the deer.
Now Chris assures me there was no way this deer could have survived this accident. But when they pulled over and looked around, the deer was gone. Vanished. So they looked at the damage to the truck. The front end was completely smashed and the truck was literally dumping fluid. Not good.
So Chris calls up another friend who I shall call WarHamster. Why? Because it really annoys him ^_^. War Hamster gets the call at 1:30, and like the good friend he is, stumbles out of bed and drives over to help. He sees the Ryder truck and announces that not only is the truck undrivable, its dumping transmission and radiator fluid. Time to call a tow truck.
The tow truck comes and tows the Ryder to the apartment. The tow truck leaves the Ryder truck there.Keep in mind, it's now about 2:30 in the morning. Katy, Chris, and WarHamster proceed to unload the Ryder truck. In the morning, Chris calls Ryder. They send another tow truck to take the moving truck away.
A few days later, Chris calls to find out just how much damage was done to the Ryder truck. The bumper was V-shaped punching into the hood. The transmission was shot. The radiator was gone. The engine probably had some sort of damage to it. All total, the damages came to a little over $3,000.
But Chris and Katy were smart. They bought the $15 insurance. You would think they wouldn't have to pay anything, right? Wrong.
They got charged $61.25 because the gas tank wasn't full.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Pet Shelter Network
On Monday, August 13, 2001 at 09:47 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
The move is almost over. I would not recommend getting a job, moving out of an apartment, and moving into a new apartment in less than a week's time. At least I can now have a small furry creature to share my abode. In other words, I'm going to get a cat. The URl of the day is to honor that fact.
I am now sitting in my new-new apartment. A new-new apartment you ask? Well, my roommate and I were going to move into apartment 4101J at the new apartment complex. Guess what? A pipe broke in the ceiling sending water (and the ceiling) cascading to the floor. So the people at the apartment complex rushed to get another apartment ready for us in time.
Hence, the new-new apartment. My roommate informs me that this one is as good as if not better than the old-new apartment. Considering that the ceiling in 4101J was laying on the floor, I do not find that statement reassuring.
We are still in the process of unpacking. If this is like any other move I've ever made, we'll continue to be in that state for more than a year. "Where's the flower picture?" "In the box under the ceiling fan." "Where's the computer?" "In my closet." "Where's my checkbook?" "In one of the little boxes."
Yes, I was so into the packing spirit I packed my checkbook. Feel free to point and laugh.
When my family moved from California to North Carolina we packed everything. Half the stuff is still packed. Going out to our shed was like having Christmas all over again. I'm still waiting to find the box that has the million dollars in it.
Like all new apartments, this one has its quirks. the one that bugs me the most (pun intended) is the large amount of wildlife that keeps making its way to our doorstep. In the past three days I've seen spiders, millipedes, centipedes (yes, I can tell them apart), ants, roaches, and mosquitos.
Then there was the thing floating in the toilet this morning. It was small and grayish brown. I'm not the most alert person in the morning, so I don't know what it was. Actually, I don't look that closely at stuff floating in my toilet at any time of the day. What I do know is that when I flushed the toilet it started swimming. My roommate has tried to tell me that it was probably just movement due to the water. I've tried to convince myself the same thing all day long.
It ain't working.
Don't get me wrong, I love being able step outside at dusk and watch the bats chase mosquitos as the sky slowly darkens to midnight. However, things have gotten ridiculous. To leave the parking lot this evening we had to herd an entire flock of geese out of the way. Enough is enough. Nature belongs outdoors, preferably at a safe distance where I can enjoy it when I want to and not when it decides to invade my privacy.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go look at small furry creatures. After all, fight nature with nature.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: FanFiction.Net
On Thursday, August 9, 2001 at 10:25 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
After a huge hiatus due to equipment problems, FanFiction.Net is now back up. Therefore, it gets linked to again. Yeah!
I did not realize working would take so much out of me. All I do is sit at a desk for most of the day doing whatever everyone else in the office doesn't want to do. Yet when 10:00pm rolls around I am ready to just collaspe. Of course, that could be because I came home and started packing.
One more day until I get my greedy little hands on the keys to my new apartment. Goodbye old apartment. Good riddance. This place is a dump. Plain and simple. Don't get me wrong. The people who run it are absolutely great. If the apartment was all about them, you wouldn't be able to pry me out of this place with a crowbar. But I only see them when something screws up in the dump I have to live in.
What can be so wrong with the apartment you ask? Let me see... I know! We'll start with the green wall. the green wall? Yes, we (my roommate and I) have exactly one (1) blue-green wall in are entire apartment. Obviously, the apartment manager decided that the beige walls were too plain. So she went around and painted one wall in each apartment a color. We got the green one.
The thing is, she didn't even paint it well. You can see where the paint had dripped down, been slapped over onto the doorjambs, and and sprayed onto the vents. In other words, it just looks crappy. However, it goes beautifully with the scotch tape that got painted over last time our apartment was painted. How pathetic. The painters were so lazy they couldn't even be bothered with removing a piece of tape from the walls before painting.
Our wall paper in the bathroom is ugly. There's no other word for it. Giant pink and yellow roses. Everytime I use the bathroom in the morning I can feel the colors drilling into my head. One of these days I'm going to forget to prepare myself, look into the bathroom, and fall over clutching my eyeballs.
We use to have a small fungus garden growing on our ceiling. This was because a pipe burst in our ceiling sending water dripping through the vent. Which is right over the toilet. Everytime you used the bathroom cold, slimy water would drip on you. The second time a pipe burst we got a small version of Niagra Falls in our bathroom everytime the people upstairs took a shower.
Speaking of the people upstairs, we hate them. For nine months the elephant people lived upstairs. There is nothing in the world like trying to go to sleep only to hear the guy above you shouting about his girlfriend's sexually transmitted diseases. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. We called them the elephant people because they would stomp around their apartment. During the day. STOMP. STOMP. STOMP. At 3 in the morning. STOMP. STOMP. STOMP. I swear they never worked or slept.
We were so glad when these people moved out. Now the angry Chinese people live above us. I don't know if they are actually angry. But they sure seem to yell in Chinese a lot. At least if they're talking about their STDs, I can't understand it. Which is a bonus in my book.
The linoluem in our kitchen is peeling up. It looks permanently dirty. You could leave twenty gallons of bleach on the linoleum overnight and it still wouldn't make it look clean. The carpet is discolored in several places. One stain is identifiable as KoolAid. Another stain is a kind of rusty, red-brown color. I've long ago decided I don't want to know what it is.
Our front door becomes a lake everytime it rains. One of these days I'm going to open the door and see the ark float by. I just know it. Our windows won't close all the way. There are these wonderful little cracks around the edges which allow all sorts of six-legged wildlife to venture into our dwelling. You can hear the joy in my voice.
The apartment does have it benefits. It has a pool (which we never use). It has a laundry facility (where you can walk across a street and through a parking lot only to discover that all three washers are in use). It's near campus (which means people like to ride up and down the street screaming at the top of their lungs).
But the best thing about it is that soon I won't have to live here anymore.