Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Pit of Voles
On Friday, May 31, 2002 at 07:57 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
At long last, I have put up Part 3 of the (A)Typical Gundam Wing Fanfic.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Spellshocked
On Friday, May 31, 2002 at 01:37 a.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
First off... I'M FREE! I'M FREE! NO MORE STUPID MASS MAILING! 400 LETTERS OUT IN THE MAIL AND AWAY FROM ME! YEAH! WOOT! LET THE ANGELS REJOICE! LET THE DOVES LOOSE!
Take the "Which Anime pet are you?" test!
Es has gotten me addicted to another comic I fear. one that only updates twice a month. Sigh. It's good and funny. But now I must repeat this mantra: MUST NOT WRITE SLASH BETWEEN JOHAN AND FENDRIAN MUST NOT WRITE SLASH BETWEEN JOHAN AND FENDRIAN MUST NOT WRITE SLASH BETWEEN JOHAN AND FENDRIAN MUST NOT WRITE SLASH BETWEEN JOHAN AND FENDRIAN MUST NOT WRITE SLASH BETWEEN JOHAN AND FENDRIAN MUST NOT WRITE SLASH BETWEEN JOHAN AND FENDRIAN MUST NOT WRITE SLASH BETWEEN JOHAN AND FENDRIAN MUST NOT WRITE SLASH BETWEEN JOHAN AND FENDRIAN MUST NOT WRITE SLASH BETWEEN JOHAN AND FENDRIAN
Also, while I'm pimping comics the new colored strip for Acid Reflux is up. Gah, I hope I never have to color that much underwear again. I was running out of ideas. I mean, now many shades of underwear and bras are there? Understand that the only reason I own colored undergarments of any description is because they came in a six pack at Wal-Mart. So while I couldn't do plaid underwear like Miome wanted me to. But I like th epink polka dotted ones.
Final comic pimping, I promise. Something Positive. I will warn you ahead of time, if you are easily offended or do not possess what can be termed as a "unique" sense of humor, I would not recommend reading this comic. And most importantly, if you are the kind of person who is prone to sending flames to people who have linked to stuff you don't agree with I HIGHLY recommend you not read this comic. At all. Whatsoever. BUT! if you are like me, You'll find this thing more funny than offenseive. Most times. This is one of the few things I've found that occasionally goes too far even for my tastes. And yet... it's kind of like Howard Stern... I must keep reading it just to see what it does next.
I was looking through my friends page when I chanced upon a name mentioned which I had not seen in a while. Tzigane. I blinked a few times, because bells were going off in my head at the name. So finally, I went to the almighty google (my friend, my worse enemy) and typed the name in. Lots of hits. So I added fanfiction to the search because I figured that was where I'd seen the name as someone's alias. Bingo. Gundam Wing fandom. Yaoi. So I looked at the names of her fics, and suddenly I remembered.
I rarely get feelings of nostalgia. But boy looking over those titles then re-reading November Rain it hit me hard. I was suddenly filled with an urge to hunt down stories I haven't read since I first started reading yaoi five years ago. Stuff I read back when the archive over at Aestheticism wasn't password protected. I remember when I had over 95% of the entire archive read. I remember I was so desperate I started reading fandoms I couldn't stand or didn't know. Samarai Troopers and Sailor Moon, Yu Yu Hakusho and Ranma 1/2.
Good lord, I remember that's how I first discovered Tenshi no Korin with Samarai Troopers. I only vaguely remembered it from Fox. I loved her fics, and still do. My favorite back then and now is still Boo (which I've managed to addict others on). I remember Windlily (who I think no longer writes) and her wonderful YYH series "Tall Blue Drinks." Sadly, the version on Aestheticism is messed up and the archive that had the complete version has since gone down. It was her and White Cat and Talya Firedancer that got me to convince Cneko to find some Yu Yu Hakusho. One of the few series where reading the fanfiction made me want to see the series.
But most of all, I remember the Ranma 1/2. Because that's how I found Tzigane and then discovered she also wrote Gundam Wing. To date, Tzigane's stuff has been the only Ranma 1/2 fanfiction I could stand. I'm not really fond of the series, and just kind of grimace/smile when people babble about it. I miss the Gundam Wing fandom sometimes. Not later, when the politics of the fandom threatened to drag it under. But before Cartoon Network, when it was smaller and you had to really hunt for yaoi. Ah the memories. So I read November Rain. For old times sake.
Gah. I do not remember Wufei being such a weepy uke -_-;;.
Finally, congrats to Twig. You've been mancered. And you have a new chapter of Whisper up. What you say at the end of this chapter does not bode well for getting a hot and steamy sex scene between Sebastion and Brendan in Knights and Pawns out of you.
Must tempt you with offers of chocolate and fics. WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Final Revolution
On Tuesday, May 28, 2002 at 01:47 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
See Chris? Someone did link to your site. ^_^
Dictionary.com was made for people like me. None of this waiting till the good part of the story is done with and then looking for my dictionary. I can stop where I am, type in the word, click, and there is the meaning. No closing the book or trying to hold unfamiliar syllables in my head. Heck, I can even continue reading while it looks the word up. Knowledge at my finger tips. Simple and sweet, like small candy to a child.
I looked up two words today "fugue" and "picayune." Fugue was a word I was familiar with, bringing to mind strains of half remembered violins. Chords and notes strung together from a time when music ruled my life, or at least my GPA. But that wasn't how the word was used and curious I discovered it had a different definition. But I think, even now, it will forever remain associated in my mind with the haunting sounds of music. The other word, picayune, was unknown to me and although I could gather that it meant trivial from the context, I still longed to know the full definition.
It is a very heady thing for someone like me, who craves knowledge like most people crave food or drink, to be able to point and click and then have the answer flow forth. Some people complain that such a thing makes people under value knowledge. That it's too easy. For someone like me who has spent six hours in a library with a stack of book waist high trying to find out one simple fact located in tiny print in the middle of page 254, I say up yours. The search for knowledge is never easy. I'll accept anything that makes it smoother.
Yet sometimes I miss the library. There's something about books, a weightiness about them, that words on a screen lack. Computers are nifty, don't get me wrong. And facts and figures at the speed of light (okay, my internet connection) are something I wouldn't give up for all the money in the world when I had a paper due in five hours. But there's something surreal about knowledge from a machine. Something about it that always makes me doubt that it's real.
But with books.. there's the creak of bindings and the smell of paper. There's the stark whiteness of a new page, covered with tiny black print or wasteful blankness which proves that the publisher had more money than sense. All modern and new, those books hold knowledge that no one has ever seen before, treasure chests that no one has bothered plundering. Then there's the mellow gold of aged paper, the tiny print slightly burnished with time. Older books illustrated with wood cuts or black and white drawings. Books where the only pictures in color were called plates and were printed on thick, expensive paper.
With books I know that knowledge is power. It's sits there among rows of it's peers until the air is filled with their presence. "We are important" the spines declare with their gold lettering. "We were put here. We were made. We can open or close your mind. We can make or break your dreams. We have that power."
I guess it is for this reason that my first love will always be books. In a search for knowledge, I will always fall back on what I know. I will always trust books more than webpages, and I doubt that will ever change. Deep down words on a page will always make a deeper impression on my heart and soul than any words on the screen. And books shall always appear infinitely more useful in my eyes.
Or at least they will until the make a computer I can use to prop a wobbly table, or drop to squish a small spider.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Yaoi-con
On Monday, May 27, 2002 at 01:15 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
Watch Tsaiko start her pitas page entry. Watch Internet Explorer freeze up trying to load a page with nothing more complicated on it than text. Watch Tsaiko's entry go bye-bye. Watch Tsaiko's computer lock up until she is forced to reboot because IE can't load a page of text. Watch Tsaiko scream and rant and rave and generally say NOT NICE THINGS to her her crappy work computer. Watch Tsaiko start over...
See Tsaiko type. Type, Tsaiko. Type.
Well, as I was saying, I really wish I could go to Yaoi-con this year. I think I would enjoy myself. There's only three problems with this. 1) I'm on the east coast, 2) My job gets reduced to 30 hrs/wk starting at the end of this month and goe bye-bye at the end of next month, 3) Time? What is this time of which you speak? So yeah, it's going to be a no go. But next year... next year I might make it.
So, I get back from my one con of the year and I'm already making plans to make it two cons. This is sad. But amusing. I'm not going to bore you with all the details of the con. Because I think reading about people's experiences at cons is kind of the cyber equivalent of being forced to watch home movies of people's vacations. People tend to eaither quickly sneak out the back and onto another page or attempt to commit seppuku with nearest available pencil. But I do want to hit some highlights of my weekend. Which includes my con experience.
So... even though I bought a 3 day pass months ago, I didn't show up at the con on Friday. I instead recovered from a week of insomnia and slept. It did me good. I felt much better for it. And it let me be at the con at 8:20 on Saturday. While waiting for registration to open at 9:00 Miome and I stood in line and made extremely wrong remarks about the guy dressed as pocky. Really wrong. I enjoyed myself immensely. The dealer's room was okay, BUT I got $120 worth of how to draw manga and reference guides.
This makes me HAPPY! And will hopfully encourage me to pick up drawing again. Nothing like plunking down a big peice of pocket change to get the motivation going.
I left and went to my friend's wedding. The wedding was nice, my friend was beautiful, I still haven't met her (now) husband. I got to catch up with a lot of old friends. I looked pretty in my dress. Which I wore back to the con and got stared at quite hard until I could get to Cneko's room to change back into street clothes. Then it was off to wandering again, with frequent stops at the TAAS video room table to talk to people and releive boredom.
Dinner was fun. Good Chinese. Then back to the con to catch the first of the new Fushigi Yuugi OAV's. What was really interesting is that Watase Yuu sat RIGHT BEHIND ME during the showing. She also spoke to her friend in Japanese the entire time -_-. And couldn't very well turn around and tell the creator of the series to shush. I mean, heck, she made the series what it is. As far as I'm concerned, that gives her the right to talk through it is she wants.
Sunday was the best day. I mostly sat behind the TAAS video room table. But I also plotted with friends and managed to sneak in a birthday surprise for my roomie. We had cake and drinks and little gifts set up for Miome. And she had NO IDEA. It was fun being devious. We sang Happy Birthday to her in front of everyone and she turned bright red. I had much fun with that. And thanks to Cneko and Lighthawk and Xavier and everyone else who helped out with it. You guys are great.
After the con, we played the Digimon Rumble game It's great. I suck at it (as I suck at all button pushing games). Most of the time I sat and typed up stories while my roomie played. It's fun and inspirational to see the various Digimon characters. Let's me continue the "Heat Lightning" story (mmmmm... Davis and Ken in college). So all is good on that front.
I looked at my referres today and discovered that the search engines have been having a field day with my site. Digimon porn of various sorts (Matt, Ken, Davis, and Kari of all things) have all appeared. FF7 is also slowly climbing the charts. In the past two days I've had one hit looking for FF7 yuri fics (psssst... I'm working on it) and one for a naked Spehiroth. If you find a good picture, send me a link. I'm still getting hits by people wanting to remove permanent marker. And strangley enough, a hit looking for a "Smurfs avi." Riiiiiight...
I would like to take this time to mention that my roomie got a doujinshi featuring naughty nurse Davis (Daisuke) in it. Take that Google, and you're little Yahoo! too.
And finally, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAYS TO THORNE and JERAM. That is all.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Animazement
On Friday, May 24, 2002 at 01:05 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
Tsaiko will not be entertaining you today.
You see, Tsaiko is feeling very stressed and very small. She doesn't know why. She's not been sleeping well since Monday, and hasn't been eating well for about that long as welll. While this has yet to effect her blood pressure much, it is playing havoc with her emotions. She has been alternating between mild hysterical laughter and bouts of crying depression for most of the day.
Hopefully, a good night's sleep will fix this. Unfortuneatly, Tsaiko has both a con and a wedding to attend this weekend. She doesn't know how this is going to work. She is five second away from calling her friend up and telling her where to shove the wedding. But she can't. Because she promised and is going to make sure peoeple sign the guest book. And this is, after all, her friend. Even though she hasn't gotten a wedding gift yet. which is just one more stress that she's afraid she doesn't want to deal with.
Until further notice (ie for the entire weekend and possibly Monday) this message will grace her pitas page. If she sees you at Animazement, feel free to say hi. She will make every effort not to yell or cry. She cannot make any promises at this point, but she will try.
This has been a production of Tsaiko's mind. what part of it, we are not sure. Probably the part that isn't wallowing. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: The Sex Life of Socks
On Thursday, May 23, 2002 at 12:50 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
Lot's of agnst and depression and deep philosophy going around. Well, I won't stand for it. Dangit, someone has to write about light hearted fun and weirdness. That someone might as well be me. Because I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. I'm tired of my mood swings (which got explained around 2:00am this morning with the onset of cramps and that dreaded time of the month -_-;;). I'm tired of being unhappy that I've gained weight in my lower half, but still seem to be a size 12 in my upper half. So, to combat all the seriousness of the world, I present Tsaiko's Randomness!
First up, some URL's to make you laugh. This is for all those FF7 fans out there. Mako Cup 1 and the continuation Mako Cup 2. I just found this vastly amusing. Reminds me of JOLT and the other energy drinks.
And... I can't think of anything else. This is sad. Usually I'm good at this kind of thing. Bugger. Oh well. One last thing from the depths of my mind and then I'll stop. Short post. Tired. In pain. Want painkillers. can't have them until 2:15...
I was locking up at work the other day when this little gem popped into my head. "You know, there's nothing uglier than the back end of a Balrog. Except, maybe umm... the back end of a Balrog." And that was it. Just a voice in the back of my head with that statement. Nothing more.
I worry about what the people in my head are doing when I'm not looking -_-.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Evolution of Super cats
On Wednesday, May 22, 2002 at 01:17 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
Anyone who has ever owned a cat will tell you the truth of this article. Cats are small manipulative people with fur and fangs. I'm not sure I agree with their conclusions (on either side). I think it was a combination of people selecting the most appealing cats, and natural selection at work. But that's just my opinion.
Short entry, don't have much to say, my stomach is in knots. To compensate for this, I have pictures! These were taken two years ago at Field Camp. Field Camp (for those at my University) consists of six weeks of hiking around various area and mapping out the various rock formation. It also requires living out of a tent for six weeks. So that's why I look very dirty and my jeans are ripped. If you would like to see some spectacular (and very large) pictures of the various places we visted at Field Camp (as well as some really pretty double rainbows) look here.
Otherwise, here's the pictures with me in them, cropped and edited for your viewing convience.
- Group in front of Rio Grande: I'm the one in the pale green shirt with the Indiana Jones hat. Get use to that hat. I wore it ALL THE TIME when out in the field. We're looking over the Rio Grande or possible just a very big canyon. I don't remember which. But it was near the Rio Grande.
- Rio Grande Wide View: Here's the previous picture only so you can see what we were looking at. I don't see the Rio Grande in the picture. We were actually looking at columbar joining of Basalt formations. But you don't really care about that ^_^.
- Stuffing my Face: This is me stuffing my face at Rattle Snake Gulch. It was called that because the place was sunny and snakes liked to crawl out from under rocks to sun themselves. Luckily we didn't run into any of the little buggers. Once again, I'm the one in the hat (and strangely enough, my old Mickey Mouse T-shirt -_-).
- On the Rocks: This is a close up of myself on some rocks. The people on the rocks around me are another group also looking at the outcrop. My partner for this field area has been cropped out of the picture ^_^. I would like to say that my thighs (while big) are not THAT big. I'm propping myself up between two rocks and because of the unfortuneatt camera angle, my thighs look massive. Yep, same old hat. I love that hat.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: XBox Economics
On Tuesday, May 21, 2002 at 01:45 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
I hate dress shopping. I hate it. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. Do you know why I hate dress shopping? No? Let me explain. Many, many years ago say the fifties the ideal body type for women was an hour glass. Big boobs and shoulders, little waist, and big hips. For an example of this body type, go look at a picture of Marilyn Monroe. She was a size 16, by the way. See that body type? I AM that body type. Perfectly. I take shoulder pads out of the dresses so I won't look like a line backer. I have a very small waist. Wide hips and a butt you could set a drink glass on.
Did I also mention I'm short? I'm short. I have a long torso and very, very short legs. They are baby legs, chubby little things that carry me from point A to point B just not very fast. I miss the petite section by like INCHES. And i would like to kill the person who ever thought that "petite" was an equivalent definition for "size 2." Thank you, please continue.
Now, let's teleport in time to present day. Do you know what the sterotypical perfect body type today is? The one all the stores try and cater to? Why I do beleive it is the fashion model look. No hips. No chest. No waist. Just the body going down in one straight long line. Forever hear after referred to as the "prepubescent boy look." That's right people! Fashion wants everyone to look like really tall prepubescent boys! While Victoria Secret is trying to get you to pump those suckers on your chest up, fashion it telling you take duct tape to them. We're in the Roaring 20's all over again! Only now, you must also be over 5'7" to be considered pretty.
It appears that EVERY SINGLE DRESS TO BE FOUND IN STORES is following this trend. Well, every single dress which is appropraite to wear to a wedding. I've found some very lovely sun dresses in different syles but they were "sporty" or "prom dress". I'm sorry, I do not want to look better than the bride on her wedding day (which I could easily do because I know exactly how to buy for my body type). All the dresses that would be appropriate for someone helping out at a friend's wedding are for straight bodied people which is NOT ME. Do you know what happens when someone like me tries to wear a dress designed for the prepubescent body style?
First off, it does not take into account that I have boobs. So it's tight. Then it fails to realize that I have a waist. So all the cloth that would normally fall gracefully across my middle is now pulled in a taunt line away from my stomach by my boobs. This style also forgets about hips. There is not extra room for them. So if you have hips wider than your waist (like me) you get this wonderful BULGE out the side. This is not attractive in the least and plays havoc with how attractive you think you are. Finally, these dresses fail to realize I have a butt. A big butt. So they have no cloth allotted to hide said butt. What this means it that the hem of the dress winds up being THREE INCHES shorter in the back than in the front.
I am seriously beginning to consider showing up to my friend's wedding in pants.
I know there are dresses out there designed for my body type. I saw one on a model at the store. It was bueatiful. It was the only one in the entire store. And it was a size 6. I am not now nor will I ever be a size six. I am a size 12 to 14. Sometimes 16. Which means I really need to lose some weight because I use to be in the 10 to 12 size range. If I were still in this size range I could just wear my burgandy dress and I wouldn't have to be putting myself through this torture.
Damn you, Hostess, and your little Debbie's too!
So either tomorrow or Thursday night, I get to wander from department store to department store looking for a dress. A nice dress. Not a prom dressa and preferably not a dress that looks like it was made out of my mother's curtains (what's works for Scarlet O'Hara will not work for me). Just a simple NOT WHITE, NOT BLACK dress. And one that was made for people complete with waist, boobs, and hips.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go kill something. It will make me feel better about myself.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Brought to you by my day at work...
On Monday, May 20, 2002 at 04:20 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
You know what? I wish people would realize that having a erotic conversation with your wife on a public phone in the lobby of a place of business where the receptionist can hear every word (yes, even when you whisper little man. I can still hear you calling her "Honey" and "Sweetie" and occassionally all the things you want to do tonight) does nothing but show everyone in said office how much class they lack.
Just thought I'd share.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Yatta!- The Japanese version
On Monday, May 20, 2002 at 12:49 p.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
All of you (or at least, I'm assuming all of you) have seen the (in)famous Yatta! video. You know, the video to that quirky Japanese song that someone did? The one where it's random images of what some one who knows zero Japanese thinks they're singing about? Well, ehre's the original video. That's right, you to can see six Japanese guys in their underwear and fig leaves singing Yatta!. No, I am not making this up. What I find more disturbing is that the crowd is made up of screaming Japanese fan girls and sixty year old grandmothers. My brain hurts.
Twig, Now and Then, Here and There is a very depressing anime. It hits a plateau about 3/4 of the way through. You think things might start looking up. You think things might get better for are dear Shu. You think WRONG. But yes, justice does occur as far as King Hamdo is concerned. Justice in the most delicious and deserving fashion. I really liked the series. I think that it didn't get to me too much because TAAS showed it right after Guu (an anime that's name is long and unprounceable but which is comic crack) and Angelic Layer (an anime which is sweet and interesting and CLAMP! what more could you ask for?)
And not all of my dreams are interesting. I had one last night where I was running around my apartment complaining that my mom hadn't done the laundry. So I was out of nice dress shirts to wear to work. I wanted to wear a specific dress shirt, but it was still drying. For some reason even though I knew it was in the dryer (I could hear my mom yelling the fact through my open door), I was convinced I could find it by digging through the giant pile of laundry on my floor. I think this is my subconcious telling me to a) do my laundry, b) clean up my room, and c) find that dress shirt which has been eaten by my room for the last few weeks.
Maybe I'll get my room to regurgiate it this week by actually cleaning up.
Thorne your worst ways to die triggered a memory of my sister and I arguing what the worse way to die was. We finally decided that it was being smashed with a wrecking ball while using a porta potty. And now I must add two of my favorites (from actual anime). Worse ways to die:
*TH-THUMP!* Being run over by a Buick (Flames of Recca)
*AHHHHHHH!* Death while looking for your keys (Utena Movie)
Anyone who has seen either of those will know exactly what I'm talking about ^_^.
Tonight I am finally going to get up enough courage to try on my one really nice dress to see if I can still wear it. This is for my friend's wedding on Saturday. The same Saturday as Animazement. I've ranted about this coincidence of the dates before. I know I have. I'm just too lazy to look it up in my archives. Suffice to say if I can't get into my one nice dress, I will be dress shopping this evening. I am not happy about this. I do not like to shop.
I especially do not like to shop during the seasons where designers and retailers have decided to make the insides of stores look like a melon salad exploded into twenty million shades of ugly. Summer fashions. Where you too can buy clothes that scream "back of closet." Shades of bright colors and vibrant pastels which are suppose to invoke images of "the clear blue of the summer's ocean" or "the vibrant yellow of the summer's sun" and hues with names like "raspberry tort" and "cool melon." I'm sure these colors invoke memories of summer fun in some people. For me, they remind me too much of webpages which scratch at the back of my eyeballs (*click* ACK! The colors! My eyes!).
Finally, I spent most of Sunday helping my friend Jag move out of one apartment and into another. there were supposed to be many people there. My roomie, myself, Jag and his new roomie were all that came. It was interesting. But!, we got all the heavy stuffed moved in two trips with the help of a U-Haul. Hauling that recliner up those steps to Jag's room was a pain. Having to take his couch in through the back door was worse. All I have to say is "I love that couch." And he better never move again ^_^.
Enough now. Tired. Need to work. Until later!
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: eastsidejournal.com- "'Soft Talk: Hotmail pushes for revenue"
On Friday, May 17, 2002 at 10:17 a.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
I am not a happy little Hotmail user. Why am I not a happy Hotmail user? Let me explain...
It starts with the above article describing how Hotmail automatically checks the boxes giving it permission to distribute personal information and your email address to third parties. So being curious, I went into my hotmail accounts (I have two). I looked under "Options." I then looked under "Personal Profile." And what did my eyes see? Two pre-checked boxes titled "Share my email address" and "Share my other registration information." You can beleive I unchecked those boxes so fast it's a wonder the mouse didn't start smoking. I went into my other account and did the same.
Anyway, long story short go uncheck the boxes. It's good for you.
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Narcissitic Anima
On Thursday, May 16, 2002 at 09:47 a.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
Okay, I know I have this linked over on the side bar, but go to it anyway. She's ahs some pictures up. Click on the first one. See Cloud? See Cloud with the psychotic, gazing stare (or the deer caught in the head lights stare, I'm not sure which...) Is it not pretty? Is Tsaiko now reisting the urge to download file and color? Yes she is. Pretty, pretty Cloud. But not download and color. Tsaiko, you already are going to have to color the next Acid Reflux strip. You don't have the time. You have other things downloaded that you're working on. You do not have persmission. YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP WANTING TO COLOR RANDOM PEOPLE'S ART!
But so pretty...
Now that that's out of the way, I present part of the angsty, S&M referenced, shounen-ai Digimon 02 story Miome and I are doing in LiveJournal. Well say it's PG-13 for all intents and purposes. She's writing the scripts for it, and then I go back in and fill it in with prose. It's a good way for me to write. Goes very quickly since I'm not actually creating, just clarifying. You know, I would never been this mean normally to a character but Ken is just SO PRETTY when he suffer. Here it is. Enjoy.
Davis slammed his hands to the wall on either side of Ken, effectively
pinning him without physical contact. He could feel the heat coming off of
Davis, and the anger. All he could do was stare back at the other boy with wide
"How could you not tell me? I thought that we were working through this!"
Davis said as he slammed one fist against the wall, hard enough for Ken to feel
the vibrations through his back. "Why did you have to go to - to Matt?!"
"Wasn't it enough that you had me? That I was there for you?" The words were
hot and bitter, welling up from a place deep inside Davis. He sounded angry and
jealous. Hell, he was angry and jealous. Jealous that Ken felt the need to turn
to someone else. Angry that Ken thought his friendship just wasn't enough.
"I can't..." Ken started. It was hard to breathe with Davis this close. Hard
to get the thought through the panic and swirl of emotions his nearness
produced. "Davis, I can't think with you - please, can we sit down?"
Sitting would at least give the illusion of distance. Though knowing Davis,
Ken doubted the other boy would be more than a few inches from him on the couch.
Davis was a very physical person by nature. Ken couldn't find it in his heart to
hold that against him.
At Ken's words, Davie realized what he was doing. He was cornering Ken. He
dropped his arms immediately, suddenly guilty. One hand went to Ken's elbow,
while the other one was placed near his waist. Obviously, he was contrite about
physcially pressuring Ken. He guided the other boy to the couch while trying to
hold him at arms length. The whole process wound up making them both look rather
Once safely seated, Ken decided to try to explain. "It's wasn't what you
think. It wasn't that - the Emperor, I mean. It wasn't about that." He sighed,
putting his head in his hands. "It wasn't anything you could help me with
"I would've tried!" Davis protested. "You know that right?"
"I know." Ken dared to squeeze Davis's hand, the first physical contact he'd
initiated with Davis since the whole thing had started.
Davis, not quite knowing what to do for the moment, squeezed back.
He wanted to take the coward's way out. He really, really did. Davis wanted
to be able to squeeze Ken's hand, accept what Ken had said so far as
explanation, and let the whole matter fade away. But he couldn't. Whether or not
Ken was willing to admit it, he needed someone to listen. Anything to prevent a
repeat of what had happened.
Davis was walking down the stairs, the bare bulbs over head giving off
soft yellow light. He knew what to expect. Matt had told him, everything, in
more detail than he wanted to know. Down the stairs, and behind the first door
Ken waited for Matt. Tied up, probably blind folded. All things Ken had done to
himself in preparation for Matt... Davis didn't want to think about it.
Then he was in front of the scarred wooden door Matt had told him about. This
was it. The moment of truth. The turning of the handle was unnatually loud in
the quiet. Davis pushed the door open, head up and ready to meet whatever lay
The sight before him was something no words could ever have prepared him
"So..." With the remnants of memory still fresh in his mind, it took so much
courage for Davis to start his question. But once begun, the rest of it just
seemed to come out without his control. "What's this big thing I can't help you
"I really don't want to talk about this," Ken said in a desperate pleading
"Too damn bad! 'Cause you gotta deal with it somehow, and I sure as hell
won't let you do it by..." Davis choked on the words. Unbidden, an image of Ken
as he'd been in room flashed through his mind. Naked. Kneeling on the floor.
White rope around wrists and ankles. "You're not getting anywhere like this. And
I'm not letting you get out of why!"
Stubborn silence met Davis's words. The brown haired boy resisted the urge to
grind his teeth. Then a thought struck him, one that seemed to take the wind
from his sails.
"Did it really make you feel better?" The words were quiet. It was hard to
imagine they came from Davis, as loud and obnoxious as his normal tone of voice
"Mm." The affirmative noise was accompanied by a nod.
Ken hesitated, trying to put into words something he had never quite
explained to himself. "No, it just... I could stop punishing myself. When...
when Matt..." He couldn't finish the sentence.
"Wouldn't it be easier to just stop feeling guilty?"
The laughter Davis's words startled from Ken was short and bitter.
"What makes you think I deserve to stop-"
The other boy cut him off with an angry motion. "Bah! Same old song!" Davis
then started speaking in his best Wormmon voice. "'I'm such a terrible person! I
don't *deserve* to feel happy, or have friends, or to - to- I-don't-know-what!"
"I don't," Ken said softly. "I don't deserve anything."
"You saved the world! You're a good friend, a good student, you've got good
manners, you're not nasty to people, even when they totally deserve it, like
Yolei when she's acting all superior and stuff," Davis said with such vehemance
in his voice that Ken almost believed him. Almost. "What are you trying to be? A
All of Ken's attention was suddenly focused on his hands. he couldn't meet
Davis's eyes, couldn't stand to see the trust there. The confidence that Ken was
not, after all, a bad person. Didn't want to see those eyes fill with betrayal
and pain should Davis find out the truth.
"Is this about Sam?"
That got Ken to look at him. His eyes were wide with shock, and Ken
frantically shook his head. "NO! It's not that! I swear, it's not any of what
we've talked about."
"I thought I knew you pretty well... pathetic huh?" Davis wiped at his eyes
suddenly, his emotions careening from one extreme to the other. "I've never hid
Davis took a deep breath, stopping. It was a lie. There was stuff he'd kept
from Ken. Stuff he didn't think the other boy needed to know. Stuff he hadn't
told Ken because he was a fraid it would hurt him. Which was rather ironic all things considered.
If Ken noticed Davi's sudden stop, he gave no idication of it. "You're a good
friend, better that I deserve. I'm sorry you had to see me like that."
"I'm sorry you thought I wouldn't want to!" Davis snapped back. Then he ran
his hands impatiently through his hair, nearly pulling his goggles off. "God,
Ken - there's nothing that could make me not wanna be your friend! If there's
something wrong, or you're hurting, or even if - if you need someone to hold
your hand, I want to be there!"
Ken took a deep breath, forcing the words out despite the sudden constriction
in his chest. "And if I needed someone to hold a whip, would you?"
Tsaiko's neat, nifty URL of the day is: Venus Envy- Star Wars Trailer Strip
On Wednesday, May 15, 2002 at 09:02 a.m. Tsaiko was slowly going insane. This is why:
I just find this one strip so very amusing. And that's exactly how the Star wars movie is being advertised. Amusing. The comic itself is okay. I like the premise, but the art style is so-so. I tend to be really picky about such things.
And my brain is weird. I know that you have this habit of taking random people I've met on-line and sticking them in dreams but dammit subconcious, this has got to stop! It's bad enough with the people in the #AR channel. But TWIG? Why the Hell did I dream that I was running around an amusement park (in a skirt, none the less) with Twig and some other girl (who maybe knew Twig? Or maybe, Twig just thought she knew me?). Anyways, we rode a roller coaster which was built over a lake because it had a habit of dumping people out and they didn't want anyone getting hurt. We (twig, I and random girl) got dumped out and into said lake. So we all decided to try again at another amusement park.
No, I don't get it either.
Something I've been meaning to put up for awhile is a link to the Demonic Gay Pride Bunny. It's supposed to be cute. I'm sure Ty thought it was absolutely adorable. But no bunny should be in shades of pastel with peircing blue eyes and blood red whiskers. No bunny. I think this is officially what you get when a Fluff Plot bunny and an Agnst Plot Bunny get a little too personal with each other. Scary.
Has anyone else noticed the serious reduction in the number of posts to people's LJ's, Pitas pages, and Blogs? I think it's because summer has started. If they were anything like me, school was their only access to high speed internet connections (or internet at all). But I kind of miss being able to look at people's pages and see something new everyday. It keeps me entertained during my long hours at work.
Speaking of work... supposedly my temp. position goes away as of May 31st. Notice that all important word of "supposedly". One of my three manager's (ie bosses) doesn't want me to go. Basically because I not only do my job, I do it well. She's really nice and I like her and have already told her if she needs me to come in and work on her program as kind of a contract thing, I will. A second one of my managers, who's okay, has already told me good luck. I never did much work for her but she's okay and I'll miss her.
The third manager (the micro-manager)has told me that she's going to propose that I be kept on until Aug. 31st. Well of course she wants me to stay on. I'm the only one here at the front desk, my back-up is going away, and everyone else who knows what they're doing has left or changed jobs. She was supposed to hire another receptionist. She wanted me to interview for the position. No way am I going to take a $2,000 pay cut to do the work I'm doing now just to be classified as a "permanent employee". I'm not deluded enough to beleive that they wouldn't still have me doing both jobs I'm doing now (the job I was hired for AND the receptionist position) for less money.
She's supposed to let me know by Thursday after the meeting. I doubt I will know by then. She does have a habit of saying she'll let me know and then never telling me. It's not like this is anything important. Just my life and all. Oh well. If I go, I go. And can draw uneployement. If I stay, I'll have a steady job until August. AND a full year of clerical experience to add to my resume.
Life isn't too bad.
One final note. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CNEKO. That is all.